Cancer & Illness Warriors
A weekly column for individuals who have overcome cancer or a seroiusness illness or who are currently patients.
The column will also include excerpts from "Draw No Conclusions", my new book about my 4 year journey with cancer. Due to be released in 2011
Thursday July 14
Moments of Being Alone
There are going to come moments when you're alone with the cancer or illness. They are inevitable. You wake up in pain and don't want to bother anyone and you feel yourself wanting to give up: "It's just too much, I've had enough, God."
First and foremost, don't' be hard on yourself if these feelings arise. These feelings are truly natural. The first action that will help in this moment is to let go of judgment of yourself. Maybe it was judgment of yourself, which was one of the characteristics that led to the cancer. So guess what! Lets stop judging yourself now!
Why are you judging yourself? Ponder this. Get out of piece a paper and do some detective work. I will give you a hint on the first place to start looking-your childhood! Were your father and mother hard on you? If this doesn't feel immediately apparent, remember that delusion and denial are powerful forces and most of us forget parts our childhood. Be in a place of inquiry about your parent's messages to you. You've opened a door. See what comes thru.
It's difficult to take a look at our childood. You might say, "It's over and what difference does it make?" That's right-what difference does it make! So do it! Might as well do something! If we can approach every act if it is our last act and thus give it our all-this is the attitude of a warrior.
It is in these lonesome moments when we lose hope that prayer reaches out to us. I encourage you to take its gentle hand. Maybe this is one of the gifts for you in your journey with cancer-a closer relationship with your Creator. I also encourage you to believe the hundreds of stories you have heard about how faith and prayers came to the rescue when pain and hopelessness seemed to overwhelm people. Those stories are true and you can be one of them.
Remember it can be as simple as: "God, I give over to you all this pain, this hopelessness. I ask for you take it from me right now. I am ready for you to receive it. Thank you, amen." And then believe with certainty that your heart-felt prayer will be answered. I want you to know that this moment will pass; I have experienced this many times myself.
You are in that moment of prayer modeling a way of being in your power and the healing energy inside you is listening. These moments alone can be gifts, chances for us to deepen our faith.
Every moment you are faced with adversary in your journey with cancer or illness is a chance to move forward. Take it! God never gives you more than you can handle. You are so much stronger than you think-let yourself believe it. I believe in you!