Partnership of Healing
This is an expanded version of the article found on my newsletter. I felt that the “partnership of healing” was a very important dynamic and needed more written about it. This has not been an easy column to write and has made me take a step back and look at the principles of healing.
If you engage a healer, coach or counselor to support you in creating a breakthrough, you have to be a partner in your own healing. A few times over the years, I have had clients that have a desire to heal or create a breakthrough but when faced with the actions that it requires-they back off. I have complete confidence in my ability to support clients in creating breakthroughs but only to the degree they are willing. I can create a “keystone strategy” for my client to create the highest probability of success but then it’s up to them to take action.
What stops clients? Sometimes facing the core issues feels to far out of what they perceive is their comfort zone, so they will actually deny they are issues that need to be addressed. Or they will simply admit they are not ready to face them. The anger or hurt they feel has become familiar, it serves some purpose in their life. A tough question, I ask clients: “What’s the payoff? What are you getting for staying in this place of anger or lack of forgiveness or sadness?” The reply sometimes is, “I am not getting anything from it!” But, in fact they are or they wouldn’t be holding onto those emotions. And then the “word” nobody likes (including me) arises-“victim energy”. Being a victim is another way of saying you don’t believe you have power, you don’t have a choice. But you have such great power! It’s right there inside you-waiting for you to reach for it.
In creating a strategy sometimes you want to construct actions that are “doable”. My mission is to create a shift-no matter how small or large. A shift is a shift! And if you can feel your own “power to change” just a little bit, it’s a start and you are going forward. Willingness is motivated from many places. If you don’t feel willing, I would encourage you to pray for it:
“God, I give over to you all this unwillingness and fear of change. I ask You to take it from me right now. I am ready for You to receive it. Thank you. Amen.”
If you come a little way, the Creator will come the rest of the way.
I have never met anyone who regretted taking the leap and working on the core issues that are blocking them from the life they want. Sometimes working on the core issues is about learning a few basic principles of how we psychologically function. Those principles in short are: The principle of thought and feelings, low moods, separate realities, and living in a good feeling. But it’s your receptivity to hearing them and willingness to absorb them that makes the difference. More on these principles later!
I know my tone in this column feels firm but I wanted to encourage you to take the leap into “willingness”. I have had to do this myself many times and I am still doing it. I know it isn’t easy. But one step can take you a long way!!