The title is a line from a song by INXS called “Pretty Vegas” written by new lead singer, JD Fortune. Every time I hear it, I think—absolutely right!
A few months back I called my old coach and scheduled a phone appointment for some additional training and review. It had been ten years since we did this, it was an amazing experience. At the end of the hour, I said, ”David, this is the same stuff you were telling me 22 years ago but I’m really hearing it now!” He said that’s called, “Evolutionary listening!”
One theme we touched on has to do with the title to this story-“welcome to the show and it ain’t pretty”. All of us have a “movie” created for us when we are children about how life should be . And when we get older and compare our life to the movie—that’s when we get unhappy!
For me, the movie didn’t have abandonment as a story line! My childhood was a series of abandonments—innocent ones by my parents—they thought they were making the best choices–truly. But that ten year old certainly didn’t think so! So when abandonment showed up I felt,”Wait a minute, this isn’t part of the movie!” And as a result abandonment felt pretty bad to me and from that point on, I did everything I could to avoid it—I am sure you know what that means, brothers and sisters! Not getting close to people, fear of rejection, etc..
Now, if someone had told me that abandonment is just part of the movie that might have had made a difference. Or if I had been listening when someone told me! Learning is always a partnership.
Acceptance that life can sometimes be rough can really take the power off that roughness. It’s the non-acceptance that causes struggle. It’s the thought that we give energy too–“No, No, this isn’t the way it supposed to be!”–that causes us misery!” Here it is, brothers and sisters: It’s just a thought—ignore it!
Sometimes, I see clients remain in situations because they are unwilling to give up on the movie. For example, a relationship or marriage. The voice inside is telling them—“No, this should be working out—that was the movie I was given. You get married and live happily ever after. I am going to keep trying to make it work till it matches the movie—no matter what!!”
Syd Banks, says, “Life is contact sport but it’s how we take the contact that we have choice in.” I think accepting this spiritual fact can be very empowering.
In my cancer column, I end a story by describing the vision I use to have when I had cancer: I could see myself lying in a bed, moments from passing over. There was a mischievous smile on my face as I looked up at the people around me and said, “Man, what a ride!”
So, welcome to the show, my friends, it ain’t pretty sometimes but it’s quite a ride! You get to choose—always remember–you get to choose—you want it rough or smooth!
Acceptance brings power!