Gregory Drambour
Gregory Drambour

Online Marriage Counseling

Common Sense Solutions

Online Marriage Counseling Couple Retreat CoupleI was curious about other organizations doing online marriage counseling so I did a search online. Surprisingly, there are number of groups out there. That’s really wonderful, especially during the pandemic. In my couples’ counseling practice I am witnessing quite a few marriages stressing to the max with lock downs. A couple will call and say, “Greg, we can’t make it Sedona, can you recommend marriage counseling near me?” Even though I have fairly big network of colleagues, I don’t always have someone in their area and that’s when I recommend online marriage counseling.

11 Years Online Marriage Counseling

Here at Sedona Sacred Journeys, we have been offering couples retreats for 18 years and online marriage counseling for 11 years. I utilize a variety of my online programs: Spiritual Warrior/Couples Program, Freedom From Codependency and Spiritual Awakening Tutorials. This is in conjunction with weekly calls/zoom. The program is short-term; it can be a month and no more than three months.

Multi-Dimensional Strategy For Success

I find relationship counseling can have great results when approaching issues from a multi-dimensional learning dynamic. To include: video, podcasts, structured assignments, phone support. We all have different ways of learning and its important to recognize this. And there is also an accountability factor by having to report their weekly assignment to me personally or the private group. Reading other members reports on the same assignment you are doing can be very inspiring and educational. This is powerful aspect I didn’t anticipate.

Six Principles That Can Save A Marriage
Or Empower Getting Reconnected

My approach is very different than most online marriage counseling and mirrors what I do on Couples Retreats here in Sedona.  I am more of a teacher than a counselor in that I focus on teaching principles to couples as opposed to drilling into the past. Many couples are exhausted with that approach and the classic therapy session.

1. Low Mood Stop/ Heart-to Heart Go

This principle is straightforward: When one or both of you are in a low mood — Stop! Under no circumstances engage one another. Take a break and wait for the heart-to-heart place to return. It always will. Your wisdom is innate, it’s always inside you. In that place you naturally communicate with kindness, love, understanding and work together. This choice can instantly change your relationship back to those beautiful feelings for each other.

2. Separate Realties

Couples discover in a deeper and more accepting way how their partner is in a separate reality and that’s okay! And also, how this releases you from taking everything so personally.

3. Deep Listening

This is the most popular tutorial online and on retreat. My mission is to make listening and acknowledging your partner organic as opposed to turning into a technique which i see a lot of couples counselor do –that can get old very quickly.

4. Forgiveness

Couples discover how forgiveness is really natural to you when you quiet down and let go of your negative thoughts, forgiveness will flow up without effort

5. Taking Responsibility

Couples discover how they are each responsible for their own feelings. How they are one hundred percent responsible for how they experience their partner. With this powerful insight all “blame” is released!

6. Giving Meaning…

Couples discover when they are “giving meaning” to what their partners are doing or not doing. It’s all happening in their head! They learn how not to take their negative thinking seriously and how when that thinking changes their natural wisdom will flow back up.

It’s A Schematic

We could say these six principles are a schematic. Lean on them and you will see changes very quickly in your marriage. Instead of focusing on specific issues try to see how one of the “principles” might apply. I want to encourage all couples to get a deeper insight about these principles, an AHHAA moment. When you do you will never be the same person. So whether it’s online couples counseling or in person my strongest recommendation is to find a counselor who is not turning the session into a fighting match.


Gregory Drambour is considered one of the top couples counselors in North America. He offers online marriage counseling and couples retreats in Sedona. He is the author of three books on practical spiritualty.

Programs utilized in Online Couples Counseling: Spiritual Warrior/Couples Program, Freedom From Codependency, Spiritual Awakening Tutorials

Please check out other Blog Posts on Relationships


Finding Your Purpose – Conversation With A Client

Finding Your PurposeGreg: Finding your purpose doesn’t have to be hard, brother.
Client: I know there is something bigger I’m suppose to do with my life, I just can’t figure it out. I want to have a meaningful life.
Greg: Do you know what everyone who felt that and then figured out their purpose in life have in common?
Client: (client shakes head).
Greg: They stopped at some point being frustrated about not having a sense of purpose!  And more importantly they stopped judging themselves. Because it blocks the spiritual whispers that are trying to point you towards your mission.
Client: How do you get motivated? Then what do you do?
Greg: I tell you something funny – very few clients ask me that question. They go into a very innocent explanation of their story, instead of asking questions. So you are already doing something.
Client: Really?

What is the Code of the Spiritual Warrior?

Greg: Warriors are dedicated to asking questions. This is the code. Wisdom will give you guidance when you ask questions. Believe that! Pay attention and act on what it suggests. This tells Spirit you are listening and ready for more instructions.
Client: I figured once I left high school, I would know what my purpose would be.
Greg: That’s a false idea perpetuated by Social Media — everybody looks like they figured it out! And then we compare ourselves and feel like shit — really getting out of our mental health.
Client: Sounds like me. (smiling)
Greg: Study GaryVee on Instagram, he posts a lot about this subject — can 9 million followers be wrong!
Client: I will check him out.
Greg: Remember this: You are hard-wired to do something — everyone is. The mission is waiting inside you to reveal itself.  Your end of that partnership is the believe what I just said and don’t get down on yourself.  Then suddenly your wisdom will point the way and the next step is act on it!

Finding Your Purpose is a Mission Of Subtraction

What I tell clients on spiritual retreats is that a lot of the times it’s a mission of subtraction. In Toltec shamanism, we call that a “non-doing.” What does this mean? In this case, it’s having “an opinion” about yourself that getting in the way of the guidance you are wanting or the direction or greater purpose for your life.

Stop judging yourself!  It creates SPACE for directions to flow up from your Spirit/Wisdom. Let go of your personal assessment about yourself. Try this:

Spirit/Universe/God, I give over to you this judgment of myself, please take it from me, I’m ready for you to receive it.

That’s a powerful 2000 year old of praying. You can’t go wrong with going Old School! See this link for  prayers and invocations. This invocation initiates a partnership with the Creator. Divinity want you to ask for help!

There is an old adage: “You come a little way, God will come the rest of the way!  But the Greg-version of this is — a little way has to be out of your comfort zone.” Which could mean get out of your head and start to do something!

Another Client Conversation: Purpose Finds You

Client: I want to find my purpose?
Greg:  What I have discovered is usually your purpose finds you.
Client: Really? How does that happen?
Greg: You have to ask yourself if your “visible” enough for it to see you. And the first step is to see how you’re “not” visible.
Client: You mean like hiding or negative thinking?
Greg: Exactly. Or are there actions you can take that create an opening but you hold back on taking them because of fear or thinking.
Client: Then my purpose can’t locate me…
Greg: You have to get out on the field and get visible! “I am here!”  I’m not Christian but what I did was “The Prayer of Jabez” by Dr. Bruce Wilkson.  It’s a small prayer in the bible that goes like this:

“Oh Lord, that you would bless me, that you would enlarge my territory, that your hand would guide me, that you would keep my from evil so that shall do no harm.”

You do that prayer once a day, something is going to show up! It did for me.
Client: Wow. I like it. I will give it a try.
Greg: Check out the short video I did about my Jabez experience on Instagram.  I will send you a link.
Client: Cool.

Are You Invisible To Your Purpose?

Finding your purpose is a mission that comes up quite up a lot on retreat. And what occurred to me over the years and even in my own journey is “your purpose finds you.” If it’s not finding you then you have to ask yourself what you’re doing not to get visible.

How do you get visible? Bottom-line: Take action! Any action! But that’s not posting in your social media! Get out on the street and do something that’s feels uncomfortable. Getting uncomfortable equals getting visible!

Muse Landed On The Roof!

In the “Afterwards” in my new book, The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf, I describe how taking action caused the Creative Muse to land on my roof. Like a wild fire it ignited the writing of the book.

You might say, “But, Greg I don’t know what those actions are.” First place to look is whatever you are resisting, whatever you don’t want to do, whatever you are procrastinating about! Now, lets say you’re not resisting, then the next step is the Invitation To Divinity which you can get online or come work with me on retreat.

Sounds like this, “I invite my Divinity to offer me some guidance about what I need to do to find my purpose.” Then the next step is to be in Faith.  The guidance will show up. It has to, those are the rules!

Gregory Drambour is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys and the author of three books on practical spirituality: The Woodstock Bridge, The Shaman & His Daughter, The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf. 

Shamans – Freedom To Be You – An Interview

Shaman Praying To Grandfather Sky

Interviewer: Can you tell me more about the world of shamans?
Greg: The word shaman is not one I have been totally comfortable with over the years. But it’s the general word most folks use to associate to what I do.
Interviewer: Can you explain what you mean?
Greg: In my tradition or lineage which is from the Northern Plains of the United States you would not hear the word Shaman used. They would say, Medicine Men or Holy People. The word shaman is really from South American indigenous cultures and Artic or Asian Tribes. I believe it originates from the Tungusic Turkish languages .
Interviewer: So you use it because it’s a word that the public understands?
Greg: Yes. For my book, “The Shaman & His Daughter,” I was in my wisdom about using the word Shaman. The insight I got was to reach as many folks as possible with the message. To let go of concerns about definitions. My brothers, the Holy Men, agreed.

What is the Medicine Path?

Interviewer: Is that why I see in some of your writing the phrase, “the medicine path.”
Greg: Yes, the medicine path or the path of power would be another way of saying the term shamanism. You could say, “They are someone who walks the Medicine Path.”
Interviewer: Do you feel there is a misconceptions about people who practice shamanism or walk the medicine path?
Greg: Yes, but I don’t think it’s anything negative. And it’s one of the reasons I wrote The Shaman & His Daughter to show how shamanism ingrates into a real world life – like shopping at Safeway!
Interviewer: That was a great story. Could we say shamanism is about listening to yourself and the world at a deeper level?
Greg: Someone is reading my stuff! Yes, that is it exactly. To learn to listen from your Spirit not your mind. I talk about that very specifically in my first book, The Woodstock Bridge.
Interviewer: Can you explain that a little more?
Greg: When you quiet your mind down, it opens up the gate to a deeper seeing, hearing, and feeling of the world. There is magic happening all around you! The world and all its life-forces are whispering to you. To hear those whispers and act of them is the medicine path or shamanism!

Mastery of Studentship

Interviewer: In your Master of Studentship Video you talk about how to hang out with spiritual teachers, mentors, or shamans.
Greg: Yes, I really believe it’s the big missing piece of spiritual practices in the world. How to deeply listen to a teacher as opposed to what we could call prescription-listening. Which is listening to try and get something or listening to try and apply it to your problems. In the 20th Century I feel this happens quite a bit — the need to know.
Interviewer: I have been totally guilty of that!
Greg: I struggled with it too. I was thrown out of the Holy Men’s house so many times because I wasn’t listening from Spirit. With the admonishment of,  “Come back when you’re not so full of yourself!” as the screen door banged behind me.
Interviewer: The Holy Men you mention in your books?
Greg: They were my teachers. I really feel like they were two fathers who raised me. But they consider me their brother and there is no greater honor for me.
Interviewer: I can see how much they mean to you.
Greg: No words, my friend.
Interviewer: Do you offer a shamanic studies course?
Greg: I have my Shaman Online Training Program and of course on site here in Sedona.
Interviewer: Does it teach Shamanic Healing?
Greg: It guides you how to find those healing gifts inside you — and they are there. People feel them, they just don’t know how to bring them out.

Shamans “Seeing”

Interviewer: Can you talk about the “seeing” that shamans do? (catches himself). I’m sorry if  I keep using the word shaman.
Greg: It’s okay, it’s what you are used to and you will see me use it because it’s the reference. Much of what I do is based on my “seeing” in the moment. This could be with clairvoyance, – audience or – sentiency.
Interviewer: What happens when you are “seeing?”
Greg: Wow, that’s a big question!  It can be very dramatic, like suddenly I “see” a tiger in the middle of the trail. They have come through the veil to connect with me or the client. Or it could be I “feel” one of the Tree-People flow up energy telling me they want me to get closer.
Interviewer: That’s amazing. Some people call the other side of the veil, the Spirit World.
Greg: There are all sorts of definitions for that place depending on your belief system.  My feeling is to refer to it in way that resonates with you. Sometimes I call it the Dreamweave which is a Native American expression.

Trance States

Interviewer: Do shamans need to be in a trance state or altered states of consciousness to enter that place?
Greg: Not really. Those phrases were never used with my brothers. They would say, they traveled to the other side or journeyed there. We can just go there, we don’t need to get into specific state.
Interviewer: Are you leaving your physical body?
Greg:  I would say yes but not in the way people think. I am projecting myself to another place but I am certainly still anchored to my body.  Not sure that even explains it (laughing). Some of these stuff can’t be explained only experienced.
Interviewer: So be careful of asking for a step-by-step plan?!
Greg: (laughing again) Yes! But it’s not that I can’t show you how to create the way that it might happen. You know shamanism practitioners have been handing this down for thousands of years.  So it’s always changing — meaning there is no right or wrong way to do this.
Interviewer: Can you expand on that?
Greg: My mission is to help folks find the original shamanism or medicine in them. Not a duplicate of what I teach. And this came from my brothers when I was writing “The Woodstock Bridge” when I kept checking with them about being accurate. Their response was, “Brother, what is traditional is what is in your heart.”

Finding Freedom in Shamanism

Interviewer: I’m getting that there is an openness to this world you live in.
Greg: Wow, that’s exactly right and I really appreciate you hearing that. The word shamanism or spiritual or medicine path are all the same!  If you want to use, shaman spiritual, go right ahead — use language that makes you feel something inside.
Interviewer: That sounds freeing.
Greg: It is and indigenous people around the world have knowledge to help us live in this world which can be very challenging. We must honor them and all shamanic tradition. There are a number of foundations for shamanic study across the globe.

Waking Up Your Heart

Interviewer: Do you work with clients or students who are part of organized religions?
Greg: Another great question! Yes, I do. I have found that shamanism is not only cross-cultural but cross-religion. That person’s religious practices never seem to inhibit learning about aspects of shamanism.
Interview: We’re back to that idea of freedom.
Greg:  Yes, freedom to be you, the you inside. Shamanism is an ancient language of the soul and its speaking to that part of you — waking up your heart.

Gregory Drambour is owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys, a spiritual organization in Sedona, Arizona. He is the author of three books on practical shamanism.


Shamanic Healing – Am I A Shaman?

Sisters In Spirit by Donna Jacobson - Representing The Shamanic BondStudent: For a long time, I’ve had the feeling I’m suppose to become a shaman, to learn shamanic healing. How do I find out?
Greg: By taking action on that feeling. That is the warrior code. When you get an inspiration, act on it. In the code, it’s referred to as having “No Gap.”
Student: I’m not sure where to start? I’m afraid I will go in the wrong direction.
Greg: Sounds like you are overthinking it. To not do that is the first step on the Shaman’s path. Warrior’s allow their inspiration to guide them, not their thoughts. Start there. Believing in these inspirations with “action” is the language of the shamanic warrior. Because always and forever, behavior is the truth.
Student: I guess that’s the problem, I’m not acting on what I feel.  If I’m ready to act can you suggest a next step?
Greg: You could clear these blocks in you.
Student: How?
Greg: Here are a few invocations:

2000 Year Old Way Of Praying

“God (Creator, Spirit, Source), I give over to you all these blocks inside me that are keeping me from my true destiny. Please take them from me! I am ready for you to receive them! I give them to you!”

Ask: “I invite my Divinity to show me how to clear these blocks. I stand in faith that this will flow up. I’m in faith, that’s my stand!”


Find a dry-creek bed and stand in the middle of it and call forth the Spirit of the Water, the Blood of Mother Earth to clear you of these blocks


Ask your inner-child why they are afraid? And then just acknowledge their feelings – don’t try to fix them! It might sound like this: “I see you are really afraid, can you tell me what’s going on.” Please see my YT video on inner child healing.

Client: Wow! I’m excited. That feels powerful.
Greg: If you do the Creek Clearing one, guess what? You’ve just done shamanic healing session!
Client: I will do it! I promise. I would love to do healing work as a profession.
Greg: That sounds like an answer to your question.  If you “love to do it” — that’s all you need to guide you. Let me know what happens.

You Are Not Alone

Over the years in my practice, I’ve had hundreds of folks tell me they want to create a healing practice or practice shamanism. Sometimes, these are feelings they have had for many years and they don’t act on them. The first thing to know is you are absolutely not alone in this resistance. You have done nothing wrong. It’s very natural and innocent to allow our thoughts to scare us, to block us. How do you punch through?

There are many healing processes to get to the other side. It’s my job as teacher in partnership with clients to discover the path that gets them there the quickest. But let’s say you can’t reach out for support for whatever reason and you need to figure it out on your own. Those invocations above are few ways that could tip the scales and help you breakthrough to taking action — turn it to healing ceremony for yourself.

If You Honor Them, They Will Honor You

Client: I know you have a core principle to your shamanic healing work. Can you talk about it a bit?
Greg: “If you honor them, they will honor you.” That was what was handed down to me, everything I do flows from that. That is my shamanic tradition or path of medicine.
Client: Is it a form of acknowledgement?
Greg: You got it. When I honor the Tree-People or Rock-People by acknowledging them even with a simple hello, they honor me and my clients by perhaps flowing up energy or a clearing. These life-forces in nature want to be your friend, they want to help you.
Client: That’s how you could create an opening for a spiritual healing?
Greg: The Holy Men, my brothers, always kept it simple. Reach out your hand and it will be held. Everything around you is alive, the plants, tree, rocks, special little places. When you acknowledge it’s aliveness by a simple gesture – all nature will you hug you back. This is the path of Spirit. A Ho.

Want To Be Your Friend

Indigenous cultures and shamanic practitioners since the beginning of time have had a deep intimate relationship with the Earth. Many folks know this of this history or through their shamanic studies. But here is my invitation: I have translated that knowing into engaging nature like you would a new friend? This is just not through donations or recycling, etc. but really getting out an talking to the Tree-People!

Brothers and sisters, shamanic healing is not just about altered states of consciousness, soul retrieval, the spirit world or spirit guides. It’s about a simple friendship with all the life forces around you in this physical world — the Tree, Rocks, Plants, Water. They really want to be your friends. All you have to do is say hello to them!

Gregory Drambour is master shamanic healer and has written three books on real world shamanism. He offers a Shamanic Training online and in Sedona


Image: “Sisters In Spirit” by the late Donna Jacobson.

Black Panther Totem – “What Animal Am I?” – Spirit Animals

Black Panther Totem For Shaman TrainingGreg: Is there animal you feel in kinship with?
Student: The black panther totem!
Greg: Wow! Did you know that’s my totem?!
Student: Really?
Greg: Yes, that’s how it all started for me when I met my black panther brother over 30 years ago. He was the gateway into shamanism.
Student: How do I meet my animal totem, my spirit animal?
Greg: Go to a place in nature that feels special to you, where you have spent time. Sit down on the ground. Close your eyes and go very quiet inside for a few minutes then say these words from your heart. “I invite the Black Panther to come and join me. My heart is open. I want to become your friend. My name is …”
Student: It’s that simple?
Greg: It can be. There are other ways. But I would give that a try and see what happens! If you suddenly see or feel a black panther in front of you, please don’t discount it and think you’re just imagining it!

Can I Have More Than One Spirit Animal?

Student: Can you have more than one spirit animal? I feel very close to wolves
Greg: Wolf spirit animal! These are powerful partners!  Yes, you can definitely have more than one.  Are any of them coming to in your dreams?
Student: Yes, it’s a wolf but he seems bigger than normal wolves.
Greg: Sometimes that happens. I would call that a Spirit Wolf.
Student: What is the symbolism of a wolf totem or panther?
Greg. Well, I have different feelings about this most folks that teach this. They feel that each totem has specific characteristics. I feel they are like humans in that each spirit has its own personality.
Student: I like that.

Wolf Spirit Animal Greg: People will ask sometimes when I see an animal in nature does that mean something. Yes, for example: butterfly symbolism–if you saw a butterfly float by when you were connecting deeply with nature I would say that butterfly represents transformation for you.
Student: That makes total sense. It’s like nature and the butterflies are helping you, giving you a message.
Greg: You’re getting it! That’s shamanism–listening to the signs of the world. And sometimes are totem brothers and sisters can help us read those signs. Like your black panther totem can nudge you and say look over there! He’s your buddy!

What Spirit Animal Are You?  – Don’t Make It Complicated

I feel many teachers of shamanism want to make meeting your totem animal way too complicated. Simple and from the heart is always best. For me, my shamanic journey started with meeting my black panther totem  those many years ago. At first, he was pissed! Because I had been innocently ignoring him for a while  — I knew I had a kinship with panthers.

Over our 35 year journey together we have become brothers, best friends and partners. I go-He goes. We have had a lot of great adventures together! In my practice he helps me see into the darkness of client’s emotional body to identify the root or foundational thought creating a block. One could say, he is “lending me his power.” A phrase you will see used in Castaneda’s books or in the Toltec tradition.

My big message to everyone about totems is they want to become friends with you, just like a person would. Meaning it’s not “just” about using them in some way — whether it’s in your healing work or for some other reason. Its’ like the Tree, Rock and Plant-People – they want to be your friend. Always and forever, brothers and sisters, “If you honor them, they will honor you. A Ho.”

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on shamanism, each of them exploring the friendship with spirit animals. He offers a series of Totem Animal Tutorials and also a Shaman Training Online Program.  I found this great site on totems. Check it out: Spirit Animal Info


Unhappy Marriage – Simple Doable Solutions

Spiritual Dear Who Represents Healing In RelationshipsInterviewer: Unhappy marriages seem to be the norm now. Are they any suggestions for couples that you feel would be helpful? I know you have spent 30 years counseling couples.
Greg: If they can get more aware of when they’re giving meaning to what their partner is doing or not doing.
Interviewer: What would be an example of that?
Greg: One partner says, “They’re disrespecting me.” That’s the meaning you are giving what your partner did. Then you get the matching feeling of anger and then you get a drama and an unhappy marriage.
Interviewer: How can they catch themselves when they are doing that?
Greg: Using your feelings as a resource. If you get angry, that’s an alert you gave meaning to what they did. Then you want to question your perceptive: “Is there any other way I can look at what they did?” Or you can step back from those angry thoughts and create some space for wisdom to flow in and create some understanding.
Interviewer: We are essentially making the meaning up?
Greg: More than you can imagine. When you’re in a marriage you are not really in a relationship with that person – you are in a relationship with your thoughts about that person. Another way of saying that is, whatever “meaning” you give that person’s actions or non-actions is in fact the relationship. Literally!
Interviewer: That’ wild but I get it!

It’s Innocent

Greg:  If you can get more aware of when you are making that “meaning” up you will avoid an unhappy marriage. It’s totally innocent. People feel they’re right when they think, “they’re trying to piss me off!” They are convinced that’s true. But we are making it all up in our head!
Interviewer: When you work with couples in an unhappy marriage, do they hear this and change?
Greg: A majority do because its just make sense to them. Teaching them this truth is so much more productive and impactful than diving into all the details of a 20 year marriage. At least that’s been my experience on the ground for all these years.
Interviewer:  It almost sounds like your a relationship coach.
Greg: Sure, why not!
Interviewer: Is there a specific way you help them with getting of aware of this?
Greg: I encourage them to use their negative feelings to alert them that they are probably “giving meaning” to what their partner just did. For example if you feel “anger” and then say: “Well, it’s obvious you don’t care about me!” Question that perspective because you’re “angry.”  Stop speaking from it or throwing up over your partner with it!
Interviewer: Then how do they get settled down?
Greg: Take a breath, step back, create some space. Allow your innate wisdom to flow up some helpful thinking. Your wisdom is always there to help. Wisdom loves space.
Interviewer: Your saying to use anger as way to know you’re not seeing clearly?
Greg: That is exactly right. When you’re angry, you’re dumb! Time to take a nap!

Separate Realities In A Marriage

Interviewer: What would be immediately helpful in any marriage? Even if they don’t have major relationship problems?
Greg: To understand that you and your partner are going to be in separate realities sometimes and it’s okay. If folks do that, you will see more healthy marriages in the long term.
Interviewer: Meaning you are going to see things differently?
Greg: Yes. And you don’t want to give this meaning. It doesn’t mean you aren’t suppose to be together or their problems in your marriage. Being in separate realities is going to be part of any relationship and accepting that can be powerful and create a happy marriage.
Interviewer: How does a couple navigate through those moments, when they have a rough patch?
Greg: Instead of being in what I call, “disagreement-listening” or “defensive-listening” you want to get curious about why your partner’s perception makes sense to them. Can you see the thread of truth or agreement in what they are saying, can you find more information about their perspective. In short, letting go of ego in your listening.  Here is an example:

Wife: Sweetie, I don’t feel you are acknowledging me.
Husband: But I don’t feel I am acknowledging you.
Me: Brother, you just didn’t acknowledge that she doesn’t feel acknowledged!

Greg: This couple is in separate realities. She doesn’t feel acknowledged but he feels he is acknowledging her.

Interviewer: What’s the best move for him when his wife says that?
Greg: To get curious why she feels that way. No one is right or wrong. We experience our partner through our thinking. And for her to get curious why he feels that he is acknowledging her. We all have different thinking and thus different realities – it’s NOT personal!
Interviewer: I’m getting this for my own marriage!
Greg: Cool! Blaming your partner for your feelings is a strategy for an unhappy marriage. Here is what’s possible when we can respect our partner’s point of view even though it’s the opposite of ours – a deep rich feeling of generosity of spirit and understanding – we could say this represents maturity.

 Traditional Counselor’s Suggestions

Interviewer: What about the classic things that traditional couple counselors talk about like, date night, holding hands, spending time together, increasing physical affection not just sex?
Greg: I think they are all good ideas but the counselors that teach those things have a very low success rate from what I understand. So of course you have to ask why those suggestions aren’t working.
Interviewer: Why do you think?
Greg: I think a lot of couples are looking for something tangible “to do” to fix the problem and all those suggestions are concrete — if you know what I mean.
Interviewer: Yes, it gives them something to do.
Greg:  I think its more impactful to teach them “how” they experience each other which is through their own thinking. They are one hundred percent responsible for how they experience their partner. If a couple gets even a small insight about that, they are  going to have a beautiful marriage.

Gregory Drambour is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys and considered one of the top Couples Counselors in North America. He is the author of three books on practical spirituality.

Check out my blog post: Online Marriage Counseling

*My columns and blog are not part of Hearst Digital or Hearst Digital Media. Or do I ever include links to retailer sites on my blog. How Icky!

*Or do I participate in affiliate marketing programs for anything I recommend. Or receive commissions on editorially chosen content or editorially chosen products purchased. I am just here sharing my experience working with a lot of brave folks.

Shamanic Journey – The Shaman Series – 3 Books on Shamanism

The Shaman Series - A Shamanic Journey Through LifeMy mission in creating The Shaman Series was to take readers through a shamanic journey in the real world. In three books I show shamanism can integrate into your real life on the ground whether it’s in your personal relationships, work or simply the way you go about your day. What’s the benefit? Life flows! Life is richer!

Are You Seeing The Signposts?

The world around you is always giving you signs and guidance. The shamanism I teach is about seeing those signposts and acting on them. In The Shaman & His Daughter the omens pops up while shopping at Safeway! In The Woodstock Bridge while out in nature with expressions of Spirit from the Tree-, Rock- and Plant-People.  In The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf with a record producer and a deep bond with her animal-totem, the wolf. In the Native American tradition everything is alive. It wants to be your friend, it’s reaching out its hand to you – always. Shamanism doesn’t have to happen only in the amazon or in altered state of consciousness. It’s a way of being in the world and feeling all the life forces around you that everyone else thinks are not alive.

Shamanic Healing Session

In the shamanic tradition during healing ceremonies, we always thank the Grandfather and Grandmother Rock-, Tree- and Plant-People and the Four-legged, Two-legged, Winged, those that Crawl-under-the-earth and Over-the-earth and the Great Spirit of the Water. This is part of any shamanic journey. One could say gratitude it is central part of the healing practice. All indigenous people are always focused on gratitude for Mother Earth.

My quest was to show how these beautiful spiritual practices can come into a normal human life with grocery shopping, school parent meeting, looking for a job — just a life! And how they can help you navigate through this challenging Earth-Walk.

A Ho,
Gregory Drambour

The Shaman Series is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Ibook, Kobo and everywhere else in the universe. $8.99 3 Book Box Set.

Gregory Drambour is a master shamanic healer and owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys. He offers Shaman Training online and in Sedona, Arizona

I Want To Open A Center For Healing

Client: I really want to create a center for healing.
Greg: Wonderful! The world definitely needs more of them.
Client: Nobody in my life supports me about this. They think it’s woo-woo, you know?
Greg: So you feel alone and judged?
Client: Yes, they all think I’m a little weird anyway.
Greg: (being quiet). Something just occurred to me. Let’s imagine it’s 10 years from now and someone asks you, “What happened to that center for healing idea?”
Client: Okay (client eyes are starting to fill).
Greg: You can’t really tell them the truth, right? That you didn’t do it because you were afraid of being judged. And maybe over the years, you yourself figured out a way to avoid the truth and created another reason why you didn’t do it? And let’s imagine that person who asked you is your 21 year old daughter.
Client: Oh, shit.
Greg: Should we starting making a plan to create this center for holistic healing? (smiling)

Are You Modeling Following Your Dream To Your Children?

No parent wants to model to their children not following their dream because of fear of judgment. According to the current research, the number one way children learn is they inherit their parent’s inner-emotional life. The higher-level parenting, the long-term parenting is really taking that research and running with it. It’s asking what is my inner-emotional life teaching my children? I always tells parents who up are for these big questions, “If you want to find out what to work on for yourself, study your children.” They will give you clues to your own behavior. This is not easy but it’s the Warrior level and many brave parents I work with it, are up for it.

Then on the other side of the guidance is to know at a deeper level that when people judge you, it’s happening because of the relationship they are having with their own thinking. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Now, most folks who are reading this know that. But can you translate that knowing into telling everyone to mind their own business and you are going to do what’s in your heart and Spirit? And then you are not teaching your children to give into fear of people’s judgments.

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on real world spirituality


Inner Peace – Found Then Lost – A Spiritual Journey

I Find My Inner Peace Then Lose It

Woman Feeling Inner Peace & JoyGreg: It’s been a while. What’s going on with your spiritual journey?
Client: I want to have more consistency with feeling inner-peace?
Greg: Any idea what might be blocking you?
Client: I was hoping you might know! I want to have that deep spiritual awakening, of enlightenment that I read about which will give me that consistency.
Greg: So you’re thinking that when you get enlightened or have an awakening, you’ll have a more consistent connection with your higher power, with inner peace?
Client: Yes, definitely
Greg:  Let me share something that really made a difference in my life — it was a crossroads moment. No matter how enlightened you are or how many deep insights you’ve had, you will always go up and down in mood. It’s inevitable and part of the spiritual journey and being human.
Client: Wow, really? I have never heard that. I thought once you pierced through that veil of deeper insight you wouldn’t go backwards.

How Is Losing My Nice Feelings Inevitable?

Greg: Here is the trick: To accept this inevitability, to be kind and gentle with yourself when go you down in mood. Do that and that spiritual health will bounce right back. As opposed to judging yourself for “losing it.” That will keep the inner-peace further away.
Client: Is everyone’s spiritual journey this hard (laughing)?
Greg: Pretty much! But when you go down and just are okay with it and have faith inner peace will come back, it sharpens your spiritual sword. This is a good thing, my friend.

Innocent Misconceptions About A Spiritual Journey

I encourage folks to question where it’s written that a consistent connection to Spirit is the goal? I would suggest the goal is to be consistent with “how you respond” to what is always true – that life will go up and down, that  a feeling of inner peace will feel present and then sometimes not – these movements are part of life. What you can control is “how you respond” to this shifting.

I call this “embracing the principle of inevitable.” You will go up and down in your connection and the more that you can be kind and accepting of this inevitability the more connection you will feel! If  you flow up kindness and acceptance you are in fact in a connection to your spiritual wisdom — makes sense? This principle is talked about in my Code of the Spiritual Warrior Video Series

Gregory Drambour is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys, the premiere spiritual retreat organization in North America. He is the author of three books on practical spirituality

“Greg, I can’t feel any peace until this thing is over.”

Remember, brothers and sisters, even now during this crisis, the world is still working from the Inside/Out. What does that mean? Simply, in this case that our thoughts create how we are “feeling about” and “experiencing” the Corona Virus. I encourage you to not let the enormity of what’s happening convince you that “should be” in fear or worry or stress. You get to use your creative power of thought to see this crisis without fear. Step back from the fear and let your Spiritual Intelligence manage you back to a feeling of calm. It’s an Intelligence System — it “knows” how to reset you — let it. It only makes sense to stay hopeful and optimistic. Hope this is helpful, my friends. A Ho.

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on real-world, practical shamanism and the medicine path: The Shaman & His Daughter, The Woodstock Bridge and The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf.

Another Blog Post About Inner-Peace

The Language of Letting Go

There is a language to letting go — it’s simple – let go of everything! Don’t forget to breathe! Use your feelings as a resource of when you’re not letting go — it can be very subtle: a light stress, a light pressure, worry or tension. Use these feeling as “signposts” that you are not letting go. Remember the rule: if you let go of these negative thoughts, the next thing will happen is your in natural happiness and peace without effort will flow up. You will be moving forward again. It’s mission of “letting go.” Especially right now with the virus — don’t hang out with worry or fear thoughts that are not contributing to your well-being. Try your best to shine the language of letting go to your loved ones. A Ho.

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on real-world, practical shamanism and the medicine path: The Shaman & His Daughter, The Woodstock Bridge and The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf.  For retreat information, please click this link: Sedona Spiritual Retreats

Recommended Companion Blog Post: How To Let Go Of Someone You Love

Making a Difference Right Now!

Making A Difference With 12 Steps

Here are the steps I outlined in the video:

Step One

1. What would be the two feelings you would have if the Earth was well? Not “healing” but “WELL.” I am just using the word “Earth” and “Well” here, you can certainly say “Societies” or “Places around the globe”—whatever resonates with you and that in of itself is very important – use definitions that mean something to you. Let’s say the two feeling are “JOY and GRATITUDE.”

Step Two

2. Go Old School and create a visualization of the Earth being WELL. Really see it! Let that visualization ignite those two feelings in you – as my example: JOY AND GRATITUDE. Hold that image in your mind’s eye.

Step Three

3. Breathe in those two feelings of JOY and GRATITUDE! One gentle breath after another, really feeling those feelings. Letting your cells start to vibrate with those feelings. Remember to keep the visualization in your mind’s eye.

Step Four

4. Now see a volume knob in front of you and turn the feelings up to TEN!

Step Five

5. Now, you can do two things: One take those two feelings and make them into a beautiful blanket and WRAP the visual image with the blanket. This is called “Wrapping a Feeling.” Or making a difference!

Step Six

6. Or you can visualize a beautiful river of feelings of joy and gratitude “flowing” into the visual image of the Earth being WELL. This is called “Flowing a Feeling.”

Step Seven

7. With each growing moment, feel that blanket or river grow stronger. The blanket glowing with feelings or the river charging with rapids of feelings.

Step Eight

8. Make the feelings as big as possible. Remember, FEELING ARE THE COSMIC MAGNET!

Step Nine

9. When you get the feeling really high say these words with great authority and power: ALREADY DONE, ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED, do THIS TWICE! The say these words: ASAA, ASAA!

Step Ten

10. Hold that space for 17 seconds.

Step Eleven

11. “God (Spirit, Universe, Etc.) thank you for blessing me with this outcome! Thank you for allowing to choose this possibility!”

Step Twelve

12. You have just done 2000 year old Praying work or True Laws of Attraction!

For those interested in learning more, please click the link in my profile and check out my,“Advanced Laws of Attraction Tutorials.”  You can make a difference!

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on real-world, practical shamanism and the medicine path: The Shaman & His Daughter, The Woodstock Bridge and The Lead Guitarist & The Sisterhood of the Wolf. He is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys.


Interviewer: What’s the most despicable thing you have experienced?
Greg: (laughs) That’s easy!
Interviewer: What’s happened?
Greg: Someone using your own advice against you! Long time ago, when my literary
agent was having trouble selling first book, “The Woodstock Bridge.” I called a “published” writer-friend and was moaning about this and he said, “Do you have your manuscript around?” I said, “Sure.” He says, “Go look on page 158 and read the last line.” So I go get it. I know he has the manuscript but how does he know what’s on that page?
Interviewer: What did the line say?
Greg: (look of disgust on my face). To quote myself: “Why does something have to be approved of by others to be a success? Maybe you did something because it felt good to do it.” How despicable!

Eckhart Tolle Video Recommendation

You will find the link to Eckhart Tolle Video below. He is in rare form! I always love it when it cracks himself up . The title of the talk is much different than what he ends up lecturing about (classic Eckhart!). He goes into a deep exploration of our “reactiveness” and how making things simple can take all the conflict out of our lives. Some really good stuff in this, brothers and sisters. I heard it all deeper. Please check out it. Once again, modeling to everyone “No Gap” (part of the code of Spiritual Warrior) I got an idea, a spiritual whisper to do this and just acted on it right away! Book I’m holding is “Stillness Speaks” By Eckhart Tolle

The Prayer of Jabez – A Personal Story

It’s Power

“Oh, Lord that you would bless me. That you would enlarge my territory. That your hand would guide me. That you would keep me from evil so that I shall do no harm.” Dr. Wilkinson, thank you, my friend, thank you.

Code of The Spiritual Warrior – “No Gap” – Taking Action Right Away

“No Gap” basically means taking action as soon as you’re inspired by a new idea or spiritual whisper. Being in resistance to taking action on what “we know what we need to do” is one of top three issues that clients come with on retreats. Warriors are dedicated to having “no gap” between the spiritual whisper that is flowing up and taking action on it. When you get into the habit of doing this, amazing things start to happen in your life. When you tell Spirit you are paying attention with action, it sends more ideas, more inspiration! It’s like opening the valve. Writers will tell you this: the more you write, the more cool stuff comes through. Get dedicated to “No Gap,” brothers and sisters — honor your Spirit by acting on it’s messages.

Client: I really want to create a healing center.
Greg: Wonderful! The world definitely needs more of them.
Client: Nobody in my life supports me about this. They think it’s woo-woo, you know?
Greg: So you feel alone and judged?
Client: Yes, they all think I’m a little weird anyway.
Greg: (being quiet). Something just occurred to me. Let’s imagine it’s 10 years from now and someone asks you,“What happened to that healing center idea?”
Client: Okay (client eyes are starting to fill).
Greg: You can’t really tell them the truth, right? That you didn’t do it because you were afraid of being judged. And maybe over the years, you yourself figured out a way to avoid the truth and created another reason why you didn’t do it? And let’s imagine that person who asked you is your 21 year old daughter.
Client: Oh, shit.
Greg: Should we starting making a plan to create this healing center? (smiling)

No parent wants to model to their children not following their dream because of fear of judgment. According to the current research, the number one way children learn is they inherit their parent’s inner-emotional life. The higher-level parenting, the long-term parenting is really taking that research and running with it. It’s asking what is my inner-emotional life teaching my children? I always tells parents who up are for these big questions, “If you want to find out what to work on for yourself, study your children.” They will give you clues to your own behavior. This is not easy but it’s the Warrior level and many brave parents I work with it, are up for it.

Then on the other side of the guidance is to know at a deeper level that when people judge you, it’s happening because of the relationship they are having with their own thinking. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Now, most folks who are reading this know that. But can you translate that knowing into telling everyone to mind their own business and you are going to do what’s in your heart and Spirit? And that you are not teaching your children to give into fear of people’s judgments.

Gregory Drambour is the author of three books on real world spirituality



Greg is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys

How To Let Go Of Someone You Love

“Greg, I Can’t Let Them Go.” 

Client: Greg, I can’t let go of them, it’s been 9 months now. What do I do? How do you let go of someone you love?
Greg: Do you really think you want to let go?
Client: I want to move on. I am so tired of trying to get over them. I’ve tried everything.
Greg:  Maybe that’s the block? You’re trying too hard.
Client: Please explain.
Greg: I know you know that you have a very powerful spiritual intelligence inside which is always present. (client nods). The word “intelligence” means it’s a management system, it has intelligence. When given a chance, it will manage you to acceptance and letting go of them with absolutely no effort on your part. If you let go of trying to figure out how to let go of them! Create a little space for the Intelligence to flow up and help.
Client: That makes sense. There has been no greater challenge for me that letting go someone you love. If I can get this, it will really free me. Maybe free me to love without fear.

What Does Spiritual Intelligence Really Mean?

This was a big insight for me on my personal journey many years ago. “Spiritual Intelligence” was literal! It’s a management system and will guide you back to nice feelings when you get out of its way. We are blocking its help in many ways – one would be trying to hard – we do that because we are suffering. Makes perfect sense. But when sadness flows up about that lost relationship we want to remember it’s coming from our own thoughts about that relationship.

Don’t Let Those Sad Feeling Suck You In!

Move away from those thoughts for a moment! Don’t let them suck you in – I know it feels “warm” there in some strange way – for a moment we are “back in” the relationship. You all know what I mean! In that moment you have moved into some habit thinking – that’s all. See it like that and point yourself in a nice direction – makes no difference what is it. Go to Denny’s and have some French toast! Go to the juice bar, for a walk. Have faith that the gift you were born with will come and guide you back to some peace – always. Put more energy into believing in that gift than being sad. Cool!?

Gregory Drambour is the owner of Sedona Sacred Journeys. He offers Sedona retreats and experiences. He has authored three books on practical spirituality and shamanism.

Recommended Companion Blog Post: Inner-Peace


Uncomfortable Equals Magic!

The Power of Uncomfortable

Pre-Retreat Quote: Before each client comes on retreat, they fill out an extensive questionnaire. I read their responses when it comes in and then the night before the day of the retreat. I let my wisdom be with the client’s responses and see what flows up. Here is a very powerful one:

“Get uncomfortable consistently — it’s the way you activate the magic!”

Brothers and sisters, I truly believe at the end of the day, your dreams become reality when you embrace and accept the beginning part of the journey is going to be uncomfortable. This does not mean, you can’t be open to receiving the brass ring which is to hear deeply that uncomfortable comes from thought! People are looking for the secret sauce to achieve their dreams. I could say the secret sauce is the above quote! But here is the challenge: Can you accept it is! 

I have spent too many years trying to figure out “why” I’m in resistance as way “to get” out of resistance! But and this is a big BUT, that’s not to say we can’t Invite our Divinity to offer a clue why we are in resistance. That Invitation is on the other side of the planet to trying to “figure it out!” Now, we are in the world of FAITH!

Or you can just drive forward into uncomfortable. Here’s the wild thing I discovered: sometimes we spend years procrastinating doing something we know we need to do and then finally face it and within five minutes we are through the pain and into glorious feelings! Wild!


To quote @DavidGoggins, Retired Navy Seal and Best Selling Author: “There is greatness on the other side of suffering.” —From Can’t Hurt Me

Gregory Drambour is the owner of  Sedona Sacred Journeys. He offers spiritual retreats to individuals and groups.

Eckhart Tolle Books – “Stillness Speaks”

Eckhart Tolle Book Recommendation
“Stillness Speaks”

Eckhart Tolle Books - "Stillness Speaks"

I was on the phone with a highly-respected colleague yesterday and she recommended Stillness Speaks by Eckhart. It’s been sitting on my book shelf but I hadn’t opened it in a while. Like most powerful Eckhart Tolle books, it reads very differently years later. This is always good thing to know and do – go back and read your books a few years later, you will might hear something deeper. Brothers and sisters, when I work with my teachers (35 year relationships), I always have one singular mission: to hear the “same thing” differently or new or at a deeper level. This is why I focus on deep listening and the of mastery studentship. You want to learn to listen from your Spirit. Remember, there is an enormous amount of information in Stillness. How do you get to stillness? First, don’t make it complicated! Just get present with what’s happening around you. And listen with nothing on your mind as opposed to “prescription-listening” or “trying-to-get-something-listening!” This kind of listening will stop you in a heart-beat from hearing something at an insight level. To quote Eckhart: “Go past the intellectual mind and listen for a feeling.”

Deep Listening Is The Key To Happiness

I write about this idea of deep listening when working with teacher quite a bit in my posts because I truly feel it’s one the big missing pieces on a spiritual journey. My encouragement is to get masterful at how you listen to your teachers. Just go into full-blown receiving mode, nothing on your mind.  Then suddenly, you will hear something in a way you have never heard it, an AHHAA moment. And you will never be the same person from that moment on.

Brothers and sisters, you can’t go wrong with Eckhart Tolle books!

Gregory Drambour offers spiritual retreats in Sedona, AZ